Sommer’s Blog : What to Wear?

At some point, I need to stop being such a lazy ass and actually buy clothing that fits. Running around at a size 18 wearing size 22 dresses and jeans isn’t exactly going to cut it. Here’s the problem: I suck at dressing myself (and the kids according to the Husband).

I have tried everything I can think of including, but not limited to buying EVERY fashion magazine at the bookstore, scouring the internet for hours on end, reading blog after blog after blog, and settling on a signature color–black (come on…what can’t you get away with in black). My friends have made suggestions, I have searched for stylists (all of which I am not willing to pay), and I have desperately laid across the Girl’s bed and whined about having nothing to wear.

Ironically enough her response emphasized the very reason I was whining. “Mommy, you aren’t that much fatty anymore. Well…except for your belly, but the rest of you is smaller so you can’t keep wearing your old fatty clothes. I’m just sayin.”  Wisdom from the mouth of babes. Unfortunately her wisdom on my ‘fattiness’ didn’t help much.

I have tried to think about things–er um–styles I would prefer to wear. Skinny jeans, Uggs, and baby tees are not exactly in my age bracket and honestly, unless you’re 12 you should probably leave that alone. I love the Mad Men, Marilyn Monroe, June Cleaver style of things. Black is nice, yes, but the inner me loves color (shocking since black is the self appointed signature color). Hauntingly deep reds, femininely pretty pinks, amazingly electric blues, and every shade of yellow (oops, forgot grass green). I like big bold prints and easy fabrics. I am not a fan of pants (my fatty belly and all), but paired with a slouchy tee and a tank underneath I could rock tight jeans and Converse all day. Aside from the fact that I have an odd pinky toenail, I love flip flops and peep toe wedges. I am a lifetime fan of the grace and ease that is Ralph Lauren, and if there was ever a brim that I didn’t fall in love with–the fedora would be the one.

You see, the issue is not me not knowing what I like because I know that very well. The issue–well, issues with an ‘s’–come into play when it comes time to buy anything. I get all weird and nervous and end up huffing out of the store claiming they didn’t have anything–thus the never ending trips to Old Navy. There is comfort there among the millions of tees and cheaply made dresses that are meant to hang on every body differently. However, as I quickly approach the age of 33 and a smaller size, I realize that Old Navy can’t actually be the immediate go-to place.

So I am in a bit of a pickle. The inner self wants to feel pretty and girly with a slight twist of Marilyn Monroe, yet the outer me is more at ease with over sized tees, athletic wear, and jeans–oh, can’t forget the dresses that are 2 sizes too big. I am scared of accessories too, which I forgot to mention. I always feel like they look amazing on the Mancunians and actors on the Young and the Restless, but not me. (It’s weird, yes, but isn’t this entire situation a little strange?)  I am all out of ideas at this point and if this keeps up I’ll start wearing running gear to work everyday. I need help and Lord knows I need it bad.